


These Little Earthquakes

by essentialflowers



Category: Sanvers - Fandom, Supergirl, supercorp - Fandom
Genre: Alex Danvers & Lucy Lane Friendship, Alex Danvers & Winn Schott Jr. Friendship, F/F, Kara Danvers & Maggie Sawyer Friendship, Maggie Sawyer and Winn Schott Jr. Friendship, Protective Alex Danvers, Sanvers - Freeform, Sara Lance & Reign Friendship, SuperCorp, supergirl - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 01:45:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14345364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/essentialflowers/pseuds/essentialflowers
Summary: “Oh, Seriphina. We met, and we fell in love; the rest is simply irrelevant.”It’s 1959.Margaret Sawyer records all thoughts in her diary. Writing letters to her late sister keeps her afloat during her term at National City University, where she resides as the only non-white student on campus.What happens when Alexandra Danvers, an outgoing social rights activist, stumbles upon her? Will she risk her solidarity, her safety,  for a chance at something that’s greater than  what she’s ever known?Sanvers AU, told through journal entries.





	1. Chapter 1

 

_Dear Seriphina,_

 

Sometimes, I breathe the way the wind blows through trees.

One gust. The leaves rustle. One big breath.

In and out.

I like to imagine that you’re the one directing the atmosphere so; it makes me feel more connected to you, my sweet sister. I close my eyes and, I can just feel your gentle caress against the apple of my cheeks. They’re always red, now, because it’s nearly winter in the city.

The shorter days are nice. It seems that, although the air is so frigid it can turn my tears to icicles, Mother Nature is holding me close, cradling me in her arms. For I am not lonely this changing season; I have you, binded between these pages. I have you, and for that, I thank the universe for all she’s given me.

Oh, I have so much to tell you! I can hardly contain my excitement. My professor at university often tells me my thoughts are too loud for a pen and ink, and I dutifully agree. You don’t know how many times I’ve crumpled up letters I’ve composed for you; none deemed worthy enough of my Seriphina. Because you, you’re bigger than words. Bigger than life itself. I already know you’re staring at the top of my head right now from your place among the stars. Are you a dwarf star? You’ve always fancied that name.

Seriphina the dwarf star. I like that.

Mami doesn’t phone me anymore. I’ve come to expect that, but the same hurt still manages to wedge itself into my chest and burrow its body there. I think, I think that maybe, it needs to keep warm this winter, too.

I don’t blame it, really- I would do the same.

My new biochemistry course is beyond interesting. My notes are always meticulous because another student, a nice junior named Lena, told me that the exams are difficult. You already know about my full ride- I can’t do anything as risky as failing a subject I should excel in, seeing I was the top of my class back in high school, although that seems like ages ago.

A secret: I believe Lena is gay as well.

The way she talks about this one girl, Kara? The way her voice wilts like a flower hidden behind darkness, finally stretching out towards the sun? I might be delusional, but it sounds like she’s in love with her.

The word _love_ is a foreign concept on the tip of my tongue. You were- are- the only person I’ve ever truly loved. Isn’t that just sad? I wouldn’t give you up for the world, though. I hope you know that. You’re my one and only soulmate, my one and only true friend. I love you, always. Always. As long as my heart beats, it beats with adoration for you. My Seriphina.

Another thing, because I cannot bare to sleep with my roommate’s loud snoring in my ear: my birthday is coming up soon. I’ll be turning nineteen. Old enough to do a lot of things. Like travel, and watch R rated films. And date. 

Yes, dating sounds nice. 

I don’t have anyone in mind, though, but I’m open to the thought of letting someone into my heart. I’m not even worried about the clutter they’ll leave behind, or their fingerprints marked on the softest parts of me; I’ve come a far way since last May. I hope you’re proud of me. 

It’s getting really late, now- I have class early tomorrow morning- so I’m going to have to bid goodnight. Oh, how I long to see you again.

In my dreams, you’re eternal.

  
_Yours,_

_Maggie._

 


	2. Walkin' After Midnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best to throw these characters into the late 50's. I researched slang and typical outfits. (Did you know marijuana was called funny cigarettes? Because I didn't.)
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING!! Racial slurs are used. I didn't want to add them in at first, but I wanted to write this scene as accurate as possible. And, it's the fifties. Segregation wasn't even illegal until 1954. This story takes place in 1959, so using racial slurs openly was very common. 
> 
> Happy reading!

_Dear Seriphina,_

 

Lena from my biochemistry class invited me to a party.

A University party.

I did not want to go- every fiber of my being pleaded for me to sink back into soft sheets- but something warm within her eyes told me I was safe. Welcomed, even.

So, I went. And, before you ask what I wore, it wasn't anything special. Just plain, black trousers and a tight-fitting blouse. Lena offered to lend me one of her dresses, but I declined- I feel itchy in them. They’re often too short and too thin and leave too little to the imagination.

Plus, trousers have deep pockets.

Lena drove us to another dormitory, about ten minutes away. The entire length of the drive, I sat in the front seat, frozen, picking at my cuticles. Were there to be men who want to dance with me? Buy me a drink? I do not know how to refuse them when they inquire about my relationship status, stale booze on their breath, hands lingering far from where I would like them to be.

It’s not like I can tell them I’m a homosexual, although I’d shout it into the void, if I could. Stand on the rooftop of the Science Building and confess my love for a woman's figure to the world, tiny, at my feet. 

Gosh, imagine how great that would be.

But, I’m afraid I can’t do that. I cannot risk my scholarship, my life, for this- a simple prayer that will never be answered.

The party was loud and boisterous. The people around me jived to an old song I couldn’t remember the name of. Most of the girls were in flouncy skirts, whispering excitedly about the boys on the opposite end of the room, how were _making eyes,_ and slicking their gelled hair back with their hands.

 The first thing that hit me was the smell of Mary-Jane. I’ve smoked it before, you know. But only twice; I got caught by mami and she made me kneel on grains of rice until my knees were all cut up and raw like hamburger meat. I never touched a funny cigarette again.

Lena nudged me with her elbow and led me across the room towards Kara and another girl, Lucy. They stood gabbing amongst themselves and giggling, leaning against a wall, shooing random suitors away when they needed to.

Lucy looked bright and pretty, donned in a long poodle skirt and a jean jacket.

“Hi, Margaret!”

My face burned a shade of pink- I hate that name. My full name. I’ve always wanted to be called Maggie, but elementary teachers told me it was too boyish. Too queer.

I was Margaret to everyone but you and Luis.

“Hi, Lucy. Hey, Kara.”

Kara adjusted her glasses nervously and gave a tiny smile, tugging at the end of her blonde ponytail. She peered around, the haze of smoke blocking most of her face. I could tell she didn’t want to be there as much as I didn’t want to be there, and that thought comforted me.

Lena’s steady hand on her elbow seemed to ground her, if only slightly, as she leaned into her side, breathing her in.

(Yes, I could tell then that the connection between them was deeper than friendship.)

(Seriphina, when will I be able to lean on someone without the fear of falling to the floor?)

“Kara, where’s Alex?” Lucy asked, snapping her fingers towards a boy- Winn, I think it is- to hand her a beer. She offered a bottle to me but I shook my head, politely refusing. I don’t like the taste of it. Too bitter.

Kara frowned at the question, lines digging deep into the corners of her mouth. It seemed unnatural for her to do anything but smile because that’s just the type of person Kara is; gentle, light, happy.

“She’s out with James again.”

Lena and Lucy gasped in unison, scandalized, it seemed.

“The _black_ boy? _”_

Kara nodded and something in my gut twisted uncomfortably. I’m not black. But my skin, it’s not pale and creamy like theirs. It’s night contrasted against day, it’s dark, dark. Darker than the majority of the people in that very room.

In that very University.

If James was a scandal, then what was I?

Lena must have noticed my change in demeanor because she grabbed onto my arm, raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow in concern.

“Are you alright?”

I shot her a grim smile in return.  

“Yes.”

The song changed on the jukebox soon after, and, for once, I actually knew what it was- _Walkin’ After Midnight_ by Patsy Cline. Oh, how I adore her. Her voice, silky and crooning, never fails to pull me into a daze.

I couldn’t help but sway side-to-side, mouthing the lyrics like they were coming from within me, the deepest parts of my soul.

 _I go out walkin' after midnight_ _  
_ _out in the moonlight._

Lucy grinned at me cheekily, and I could feel the tips of my ears burn red.

_Just like we used to do, I'm always walkin'_

_after midnight, searchin' for you._

Suddenly, commotion. Coming from the main entrance, loud shouts echoing throughout the still, calm space around us. 

“You can’t bring that _nigger_ in here.”

A few laughs followed the statement; I felt my heart drop down to my stomach.

“ _Hey!_ ” A female’s voice- an _angry_ female’s voice- howled back. "He’s my _friend._ He’s a _person._ Just like you- just like _everyone_ in this fucking room.”

I heard a soft gasp from beside me, and I knew why. It’s improper for a lady to cuss, but especially utter such profanities as powerful as _t_ _hat_ word. If there’s a God, He heard her loud and clear; and I felt badly for her.

I moved up from my place in the back so I could witness this, as selfish as that may seem.

That’s when I spotted her.

And, Seriphina, I swear on my life, I felt rejuvenated.

It’s like I’ve never seen a woman before, until I laid my eyes on this girl. Her hair was short and choppy; it looked like _fire_ , trailing behind her everywhere she walked. And, she wore a leather jacket. I’ve never seen a woman wear a leather jacket like she _belonged_ inside of it before. Like she was meant to carry it on her back.

“Alex, it’s fine. We can go somewhere else.”

The boy’s voice was pleading but his body just looked tired, as if he ran a five mile marathon. Alex threw an arm around his shoulders protectively.

“ _No,_ James. You deserve to be here.”

He smiled sadly. “What does that matter, though? I’m not wanted.”

He gestured around the room, to where we stood. Some of us, with wide eyes, lips sucked into our mouths. A few of us, sporting benevolent smirks. (How I wanted to wrap my fingers around their throats, my sister. I would have, too, if I didn’t know you were watching over me.)

I witnessed, with rapt attention, as Alex’s body deflated, shrinking smaller and smaller until she caved in on herself.

It was a sight for sore eyes. 

“Okay,” she said conceded, squeezing his hand. “Let’s go.”

“Look at this!" A tall, bulky fellow called out from behind them. "An ape and a dyke, leaving together!"

 _Dyke_. The word cut into me like a dagger, slicing into parts of my body I didn't even know existed. But she didn't let it affect her, she didn't turn back around.

She just left, without saying one word.

Kara made a whimpering noise from beside me a few seconds later. It was then when I recalled that she and Alex are sisters. 

“I have to go check up on her."

Lena nodded, face grave, as she snatched her bag from carpet. "I'll go with you."

They said a quick goodbye to Lucy and I before walking out. Lena handed me the keys to her car to go home with, but I only stayed for a short while after that. Lucy found a handsome boy to kiss, and with little convincing and a promise to phone me later, she ran off with him. 

I tried not to think about Alex for the rest of the night, but it was to no avail.  
  
From the moment she stormed into my line of vision, with her liquid determination and those eyes that held so much pain, I knew I was a dead woman.

But, Seriphina, is it possible to die before you've even really come alive?

 

_Yours,_

_Maggie._


End file.
